Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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