all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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