Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
