i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
