Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
