Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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