Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Never underestimate the power of titties
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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