Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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