Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize