i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize