Yo dont text me then not text me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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