Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
