I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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