Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
