rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
