on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
two words...techno handjob
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
