I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize