Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
