So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
