We're facebook friends in real life
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
