Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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