so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
