he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We smell like vodka and hangover
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
