I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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