I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
