You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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