I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
