Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
