we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
