I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
