there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
