and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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