you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
