the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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