he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
