why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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