Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
