What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
