Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
