Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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