so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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