I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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