she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
