You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
