i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
