She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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