you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
