do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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