she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't notice because vodka
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
