my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
