I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
