people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How naked do you want me to be?
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