dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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