Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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