i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it was like eating out sand paper
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
